End The Lies: Start Being Honest With Yourself

End The Lies: Start Being Honest With Yourself
January 16, 2012 Leslie Juvin-Acker

The Problem:

When we lie to ourselves we’re ultimately lying to everyone around us, because we’re behaving in ways that are not consistent with our truest beliefs and values. As a consequence, people unknowingly interact with a false version of us, creating a world we don’t really want to live in. And what happens? We’re miserable with person we’ve become and grow frustrated with the lives or situations we’ve gotten ourselves into.

We give others a false impression:
As I first stated, when we, through our words and actions, are not honest about our beliefs and values as we interact with others, we are giving others a false sense of who we are, which then creates unfavorable situations and unwanted relationship dynamics which consequently make us unhappy and frustrated.

This can happen when we’re not expressly clear about our goals and intentions, when we don’t set firm relationship boundaries, or when we are not respecting and living up to our principles or goals as much as we should.

The consequences of such behavior can spell trouble for our relationships because our behavior versus our beliefs is erratic. This means people don’t have a clear understanding about us, which can lead to misunderstandings, arguments, and alienation.

We’re holding off the inevitable:

The lies we tell ourselves can be self detrimental criticisms like, “You’re stupid!” or “You’ll never succeed” or “What’s the use in doing my best when nobody will notice?”

When we lie to ourselves, we’re simply avoiding and putting off our inevitable emotional and spiritual maturity. We’re all on a path of growth and self awareness and when we lie to ourselves, we simply hold ourselves down from achieving our greatest potential.

We’re keeping ourselves from success
We’re keeping ourselves from realizing our goals, whether it’s by putting ourselves into a negative mindset or by avoiding the necessary steps toward accomplishing our objectives. Sometimes, when we’ve lied to ourselves so much, we have completely lost sight of who we are and what we want to accomplish with our lives. Our goals become figments of our imagination and hopes lost in the misery of our shortcomings.

The truth doesn’t just set us free. It empowers us to go into the direction toward the greatest version of ourselves.

The Solution:

Listen To & Accept Yourself
Spend sometime alone and enjoy your own company to discover the positive and negative feelings deep inside you regarding the issues affecting your life. Allow the feelings to come out as you work toward understanding your fears and desires and deciphering what is true and what is false about yourself. Allow yourself to be completely honest and accepting of yourself. There isn’t a wrong answer when it comes to being honest – there is only what helps you become a better version of yourself.

As you speak the truth, you will find the keys for action reveal themselves. Loving, understanding, and accepting ourselves are the first keys to defining the type of reality and relationships we want to create.

Define Who You Are
We are so busy focusing on and working against who we don’t want to be, that we’re forgetting to define and work towards being the person we wish to be. Take the time to make a list of who you are and what you want out of life in your head and on paper. Flesh out the type of person you wish to be and described the goals you wish to achieve in conjunction with this ideal version of yourself. When we know who we are, it becomes easier to communicate this through our thoughts and our decisions that affect our relationships and daily lives.

Align Your Values And Actions

What are your values? What do you believe in? What type of world do you wish to be a part of and live in? Ask yourself and write it down. Our values are expressed and communicated through our actions as we navigate through each moment and circumstance. Are we clearly communicating our values through our actions or are we being wishy-washy? Can people count on us to be consistent or are we reckless with our words and actions?

Make it a priority to remind yourself of who you are, your goals, and your values before taking action and before making serious decisions that affect your relationships, career, and well-being.



At the end of the day, when we are honest with ourselves, we’re honest with others. A synergy is created and the people and things that are not meant to be in our lives will fall away, leaving the best to be discovered. The truth can empower us to become the people we’ve hoped to be and live a life worth living for.