1. Don’t Judge Your Spouse
Judgement involves assuming, labeling, and criticizing. When we judge, we assume we know what’s going on in the other’s head, we assume we know the truth to a situation, and we assume we know more than our spouse. When we label, we label them as wrong, and us right, we label them names and pigeon-hole them with words. When we criticize, we tear down, we belittle, and we hurt our spouse.
Instead of judging your spouse, focus on modifying behaviors, solving problems, getting answers by asking questions, and choosing to see the best in your spouse.
2. Show Affection
Some people liked to be showered with gifts, some people like thoughtful gestures, some people like smooches and hugs, others like hearing words of encouragement and support. However your spouse likes to be cared for, show them in a way that from their perspective communicates affection.
For example, my husband likes it when I cook his favorite meals. I adore the fact that he cleans the kitchen after every meal. I like cooking, while he likes the cleaning. Each of us has our own preferences for receiving love, try to show affection consistently and happily.
3. Communicate Often
Communication is essential to a long and happy marriage. Some of us are skillful communicators, while some of us are not. No matter your skill level, communication skills only get better with practice, so communication often.
Communication doesn’t just involve saying what you feel and leaving it at that. Positive communication seeks to find commonalities, solve problems, and bridge gaps. Successful communication brings couples closer together as they find a joint understanding together.
4. Laugh Together
Sometimes, marriages can be all about the business. The business of money, the business of childrearing, the business of logistics and home management. We word so hard and focus on getting it all done that we don’t take a moment to enjoy the funny and joyful things in life.
Laughing together means seeing the joy in life, appreciating the less glamourous moments, setting aside time for pleasure and connecting. Have fun together and laugh as often as possible.
5. Make It Your Own
Many ignorant people in the world assume marriage has to be something that’s boring, sexless, annoying, and laborious. Just as you and your spouse are special and unique, so is your marriage. Make your marriage your own and create it’s own meaning.
If it means having no children or having lots of children, living in the city or living in the country, never traveling or going around the world, make your marriage your own special relationship and seek to have it your own way. At the end of the day, nobody else has a say into your marriage besides you and your spouse. Why not create a marriage worth loving?