As many of you readers have noticed, I have taken a long break from writing with just a few sprinkles of posts here and there. I thought I would be able to get back at it much sooner, but then I was diagnosed with postpartum depression. From my experience, postpartum depression is an uphill battle with no end in sight, except for that it eventually does end and you’re glad when it does.
I was diagnosed with postpartum depression around the time JuJu Bean was three months old. It was a nightmarish reality that robbed me of the ability to enjoy the milestones my daughter was reaching each day. But miraculously, I realized that it didn’t stop me from getting up each day and just being there for my baby and being the mom I’ve always wanted to be. With love, help, and care I got through it and because of it I plan on sharing my story with my readers through a book that I am working on with an editor in New York City. I feel like it’s going to take a year to get the book published, but we’re on our way and making good progress. Well, at least I was told that it didn’t suck.
I have been blogging for over six years and have hid very little about myself and my life but, strangely enough, becoming a parent has made me pullback into myself as a blogger. I felt for a while that anything I shared about myself was sharing about her life and to respect her privacy, I didn’t write anything at all. Additionally, it was almost as if postpartum depression took away my voice and my ability to create. Maybe because I had a difficult pregnancy and creating life just took everything out of me and with the little emotional and mental space I had, I had to save for the Bean. Perhaps, I had nothing good to say. Who knows why, really?
Through my recovery process, I have found my voice – a new one, albeit – and I am ready to share my story and move forward with my book. I’m not afraid of what readers will think of what I write, but of the truths that I’ll uncover along the way. As you know me, I always take tragedy, despair, and struggle and turn it into lessons, motivation, and reasons for living – it’s just who I am determined to be.
Keep being patient. It’s all sunshine and roses from here on out.