When we get pissed with our families, we sometimes say, “You can choose your friends, but you can’t choose your family.” It makes sense when we look at things from a strictly YOLO (you only live once) sense. It seems to us that we move into life tabla rasa, believing that children are totally clean slates. What if I told you that maybe, we weren’t clean slates and we did choose our families? That maybe we bring through with us into this life emotional baggage from a previous life and we have scores to settle with our loved ones?
Have you ever heard the expression, “Kids: Instructions Not Included”? What if there were some instructions that could help us better raise and understand our children? What if we had insight on how they worked in order to be the best parent possible for them?
I believe that our souls carry with us information that has been stored throughout several lifetimes, we carry that information inside our hard drive (more aptly referred to as “the cloud”) and bring that information, albeit unconsciously with us into this lifetime. Do you ever find yourself thinking, “Why do I have such a horrible relationship with my parents?” or “Why does so and so and I have these issues?” when you can’t seem to put your fingers on the real cause or underlying lesson to the life problem you’re facing?
Past life issues can present themselves especially within our dynamics with our children (and loved ones) and can help be the key that unlocks the necessary changes to help foster strong and loving relationships.
PARENT-CHILD RELATIONSHIP: IDENTIFYING PAST LIFE ISSUES
Let’s take one case I’ve had lately. This loving mother that I’ve known for many years came to me for a reading with what seemed to be an inexplicable issue with her son. Knowing her, I knew that she was an extremely loving and devoted mother to her child and there was no apparent cause for the resentment she felt after her young son of nearly five years called her “mean”, “police”, among other things during fits of rage. Considering that she is a professional elementary teacher, she was confused as to the behavior her son was exhibiting in what seemed to be without provocation.
What Spirit revealed to me was that these two had a relationship as mother and son in Sicily during the renaissance. The father of the estate died unexpectedly and left his estate to his eldest son (her son), but she (the mother) wanted control of the estate. In a battle between land rights, the son locked his mother in a tower to punish her and teach her a lesson. He eventually freed his mother and they worked it out as functionally as possible, but the sense of resentment and bitterness remained.
When my friend learned this she said, “That’s exactly what’s happening. He wants to punish me and he tries to teach me a lesson.”
APPLYING THE LESSONS AND WISDOM IN THIS LIFETIME
My friend’s son was carrying the unconscious memories and feelings of this past life relationship with his mother. Now, at the age that he’s truly able to express himself, he attacked his mother and tried to punish her without knowing why. And in turn, she felt an inexplicable resentment towards her son.
“What can I do differently?” she asked me.
The thing is, my friend and client already learned the necessary lessons throughout her life to resolve her karma within herself and God by relinquishing her previous need for control and becoming a teacher of young children. The thing was she needed to be simply aware of this issue in order to apply the lessons and new skills to help her son resolve his karma and ultimately repair the relationship and re-establish the rapport between them as mother and son.
I put it in this analogy, “It’s like you started to run a race (life) and you got a head start. You are now ahead of your son who just started running his race. You can help your son catch up by guiding him through the race with what you’ve learned in advanced (before his arrival in this life).”
There is no doubt that we love our children. Sometimes, we feel these bizarre and upsetting feelings towards our children (and vice versa) without really knowing why. If we approach our children as if they are total clean slates, we can miss the opportunities and the in-sight from the experiences we had in past lives.
It is possible to correct unhealthy dynamics and change our relationship possibilities without ever having known the past life issues (imagine great shows like Super Nanny). However, imagine how much faster it could be to identify and recognize the patterns in our parent-child relationships and correct and heal them much more quickly and dynamically.
When we are aware of these past-life dynamics, we can approach our child rearing differently. We recognize that our children’s souls are older, wiser, and more in-tuned with their own truths that we realize and can afford to give them the benefit of the doubt when they do things that we don’t necessarily understand or can’t explain. I know who my children are from their past lives and because of that, I look, talk, and raise them based on the issues that they faced in their previous incarnations. Understanding these dynamics and lessons, I am able to help guide them along their path and set them up for success – even if I’m not always in control.
Children truly are a gift from God. And maybe, just maybe, there are some basic instructions that come with them.