Someone said to me the other day, “It must be hard for you to have friends… people could see you for just this one aspect of yourself and want to constantly question you about things… or stay away from you for fear that you might see something in them that they don’t want others to know.”
The more I thought about her words, the more spot on I found her observation to be. As an intuitive, there are a bunch of little annoyances that come up and boundaries that must be established for friends and family alike. This can pretty much be said about anyone in a specialized profession – like lawyers and doctors.
Keep Those Little Questions To Yourself Until Our Next Reading
Sometimes, I get random text messages from friends about something totally random or from clients saying they forgot to ask me something in a reading so they wanted to ask me during my personal time. I know it’s tempting to just send a little text to a friend who has these abilities, but don’t. Just don’t. Instead, write down your random questions and save them for when we’re in a reading together. I’m delighted to answer any and all questions during that context. When I’m not working, I’m caring for my kids, driving, and doing whatever. It takes mental and spiritual training to get into trance mode. It’s draining to shift levels and get into trance when I have kids running around just to answer that “little question”.
The Intention of “Catching up” And “Hanging Out” Must Be Genuine
I thought this was bad when I was exclusively a career coach. It’s been months, or even years, since we’ve spoken so I get excited by a call to spend time. Even if I feel a little wary of my friend’s intentions, I prefer to give others the benefit of the doubt. Then, I get ambushed with requests to ask what Spirit has to say on X and before I know it, two hours have gone by and I realize I spent it talking about their problems or issues.
I’ve also been duped into thinking that we were going to discuss something totally different and end up getting asked, “So, I was wondering if you could connect to so and so for me?” *Sigh* I used to oblige, but these days I say, “I can, but I won’t right now.”
Let’s Do Lunch. No, really. Let’s JUST Do Lunch.
A friendly lunch turns into a full length discussion on a variety of life questions and issues that seem to have been stored for this opportune moment where I can’t leave – because I’m eating. In full disclosure, if you’re going to do this – let me know in advance and offer to pay for my meal… and the restaurant better be nice. Ha. I’m kidding. Don’t do this either. Instead, wait for a reading and if you like my company, let’s hang out. If I sense that we need to discuss something, let me ask you if you feel it, too. Otherwise, keep the questions for a reading.
Respect Me As An Entire Person
Don’t get me wrong, I can talk about this spiritual growth and Spirit ’till the cows come home if the conversation flows both ways. I can talk about my own weird experiences and incredible readings that I’ve conducted in relation to whatever you’ve noticed and questioned in terms of the nature of the Universe. But what I really enjoy is sharing and listening about anything – cooking, art, philosophy, cars, engineering, business, parenting, marriage, the Jaguars, politics, whatever!
Does it make me feel sad sometimes when I’m invited out just for discussing Spirit? Yes. Totally. Why wouldn’t it? I’m a mother. I spent ten years of my life in another, different career. I’ve been a wife for nearly 10 years and I’ve lived all over the world and have had interesting and tough life experiences. I can hold my own in just about any dinner debate. I’m a whole person and not just an intuitive. If this is not possible to do, then just be a client. I’m perfectly content in keeping our relationship at that level and I’ll love you for it.
When it’s all said and done, just because I’m a psychic medium it doesn’t mean that I’ve perfected all of my own relationships and karma. I’m a piece of work. Just like you, probably. And hey, maybe in a few years my feelings about all of these relationship dynamics will change. I sure hope my perspective does in the meanwhile.