Choices. Wrong. Right. Bad. Good. Whatever we call them, we all make them and all lead to different experiences that affect ourselves and others in innumerable ways.
As an intuitive, it’s hard to ignore messages from Spirit and those who have crossed over. The internal conflict to give messages to people who may not be ready to receive them is something I have dealt with lately. There is a temptation to just step in there, but it is not always in the highest good of all involved to interfere with someone else’s spiritual growth.
Parents have the toughest trouble with this – we want to stop our children from hurting themselves and creating situations that we may deem as unnecessary suffering. I’m not talking about stopping our children from drinking chlorine bleach and stopping them from an untimely passing. I’m talking about stepping aside as our children, friends, and family make choices and go through experiences (no matter how hard they may be) that will allow them to expand their experience and understanding of themselves and of their lives.
Clients who have benefited greatly from their work with me often insist that I must absolutely work with their loved one. They say, “Oh, you should help my mom, my aunt, my husband, my wife, my friend.” Some even try cajoling me to reach out to their friends/family/colleagues because “they need to hear from you.”
Believe me, I want to help them with all of my heart. I do, I really do. I’m always happy to hold space for friends/family/colleagues and will always embrace and accept them with open arms when they’re ready to do the work. However, I will not and cannot interfere in their process just because someone else believes that working with me is exactly what is needed for their loved one’s growth. Maybe it is. Maybe it isn’t. Ultimately, that’s not my job to say.
The point is, we all have to hold ourselves accountable in taking the first step towards healing. We have to say to ourselves and to others, “Something is not right and I need help.” Healers always need permission before facilitating healing. It is essential that we receive permission to get involved – this is the spiritual law of non-interference.
Even Jesus the Christ asks an infirm man in John chapter 5 verse 6, “Wilt thou be made whole?” In other words, he says, “Do you wish to be healed?” There is no coincidence as to why he asked permission to restore the man’s health: because the man had to agree to it first.
Sometimes, people don’t believe they need help. They might not even realize that they’re hurting themselves or suffering in ways that we deem as needless. Everyone has to get to the point when they say, “Enough is enough” and do something about it – no matter how weak, proud, afraid, anxious, self-effacing we may feel. Marla Brucker, my mentor and teacher once said, “A client is ready when they’re sick and tired of feeling sick and tired.”
As an intuitive coach and integrated energy therapist, I have to respect the space of personal choice, respect the individual’s unique process of growth and change, and withhold judgement on how people choose to learn – even when those paths involve a heavy amount of suffering. I learned the hard way by interfering in others’ growth processes – and felt alienated as a result.
So, whenever someone asks me to tell their friend or loved one what Spirit tells me or to convince them to change their ways, I always say, “I’ll hold that space for them whenever they’re ready. I have to be responsible for my own karma,” and I recommend they ask their loved one if they’re ready and willing to get and receive help.
We must first begin to take responsibility for our thoughts, feelings, and emotions and importantly, our experiences. If, in anyway, a loved one is engaging in behavior or patterns that are self destructive and harmful to others, then share how your experience is effected as a result. And, ask your loved one if they are ready to get the help to heal and move forward so that your relationship may improve. If they are, then send them in a direction that can help support their change and trust that they are capable of making the decisions that will transform their lives and more importantly, themselves. Remember, healing is always within our own hands.